Get Educated: Healthy Relationships

Knowing yourself is the first step to defining, communicating, and enforcing your boundaries. Fill in the blanks below to begin on a path of self-awareness. It will give you a better understanding of who you are and what you want. It is important to acknowledge the role boundaries play in the formation of healthy relationships—both with yourself and with others.

My favorite color:
My favorite food:
My favorite book:
My favorite movie:
My favorite word:
I am good at:
I like to:
I love it when:
I am excited when:
I dislike it when people:
I can't stand it when:
I feel angry when:
I feel happy when:
I believe in:
I feel loved when:
I feel disrespected when:
I desire:

What are boundaries? Boundaries are our own physical, emotional, and sexual guidelines that help us determine how we interact with others. Healthy boundaries create a safe and comfortable space where people can experience relationships.

• Physical boundary: I like to maintain at least three feet between myself and a person with whom I am conversing. This is tested if someone talking with you constantly moves closer to you as you back away.
• Emotional boundary: I will wait until I know a person’s character before dating them seriously. This is tested if a dating partner wants to become serious very quickly or wants you to spend all of your free time with them.
• Sexual boundary: I will always ensure that both my partner and I are protected during sexual intercourse. This boundary is tested if a sexual partner repeatedly tries to initiate sexual activity without using some form of protection.

Communicating Boundaries

Often, people are intimidated by a conversation that involves talking specifically about what you want or do not want—especially if the conversation is with an intimate partner. Here are some tips:

• Practice communicating your boundaries with someone you trust.
• Communicate in a way that is comfortable and effective for you.
• Be consistent—say what you mean and avoid giving mixed signals.
• Respect other people’s boundaries.

Check out Cues and Communication for more tips!