Taylor Rubin
graduation year: 2008

Taylor Rubin is many things, but peanut butter is not one of them. However, the two share some striking similarities (mainly because Taylor has eaten so much of it over her lifetime that she bleeds reeses). Most people love Taylor because she sticks to the roof of your mouth and the arteries of your heart. But beware, those with allergies to peanuts or peanut oil should not come near Taylor. Nor should anyone who values their dignity or morality.

Note: Taylor Rubin is not a significant source of vitamin A, vitamin C, or calcium.

(These opinions are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Your daily values may be higher or lower depending on your caloric needs.)