WMAS Newsletter
Volume 2, Issue 9

"Quick!  We need to come up with some quotes!"
-Mike Canada

"Robbie is well-constructed.  Robbie will not rust from drinking water."
-Ota-senpai

"Say, Ulee, why don't you go see your parents?"
"No, really, you Ronin Warriors don't beat me as much as my parents do."
- Mia and Ulee

"Parn is now Pojo."
"Deedlit needs food badly."
"Use magic to kill Wagnard."
"Destroy generators to stop stock footage of Shooting Star."
"You are now entering Marmo."
"Look, Red Warrior, it's just not working.  You suck.  It's not fun to take your quarters anymore.  I'm deleting your file now."
-The Gauntlet Legends Guy

"Insert coins to buy more stock."
"Your initial capital is running out."
"Blue Chip needs IPO badly."
"Use insider info to kill SEC."
"Junk bonds give 100 health."
- NASDAQ Legends

Message from that Guy

First, I would like to add a small note about the dangers of factionalism.  One of the things I love about this club is the close-knit community we usually share.  However, last meeting we seemed to have a small problem.

Now, I like watching something different every week, and therefore I care not exactly what we see, although I favor certain videos each week, but it seems to be starting to get nasty.  For one thing, one person seemed to think that last week's voting divided along gender lines.  He is wrong, and does a great disservice to women everywhere.  Next time, he should notice that when our voting is split along 7-8 lines with a club that is 60% women, there's not going to be gender homogeneity amongst the voting blocs.  Also, there was that "spite vote" for Saber Marionette J.  I like Saber Marionette J, but I don't think we should sink the hopes of the Tylor people just because they torpedoed all possibility of us seeing Kimagure Orange Road last week.  Can't we all just get along?

The weather around here has been wonderful, and if it keeps up in two weeks we'll do the RPG in the sunken gardens.  I'll let you know after Nekocon.

In this week's magical girl episode, some people were unable to make it to the RPG session.  Guess whom.

If you'll remember from last week, some of our magical girls (Kumako, Aoi, and Mercedes) were busy trying to remove small devices from a public school's light fixtures when they were interrupted by the Otherverse, most notably by Lamprey, a spandex-clad Lord, and Nurse Joy, who was actually the suspiciously Sailor Moon-like lady of the Otherverse called Remora.  Then a whole bunch of blobs showed up and a big yellow one swallowed Mercedes.  After that, Lamprey used his awesome mind powers and took over Kumako's body.

Sraf the fairy-thing, seeing big trouble, zoomed out to find Hitomi, who was walking home.  Wasting the cash on Hitomi's phone card, Sraf called the D'oyle Carte Opera Company and the Irish Pantheon.  The immediate result of these actions was that Kumiko was pulled unceremoniously from her home in Kyoto and dropped on an Osaka street-corner.  Then Isabelle Kate Ruth Stanley's flying ship appeared...

Meanwhile, Aoi was using the most of her Jurai abilities to slash and fry various blobs and fend off the controlled Kumako.  It's amazing how a gundamium animal-catching staff can parry a light sword.  Eventually, help came in the form of Isabelle's ship, the Chemise, which disgorged three magical girls and a penguin named Sparky. 

Then came the least impressive magical girl fight ever.  Since Kumiko can't become Lady Fay unless someone she cares about is in danger, she ran into classroom to wait until she started caring.  Hitomi used her optical camouflage and then realized that she failed to procure the Ghost in the Shell weapons needed to make that really cool.  So it was left to Aoi and Isabelle, who were occupied by blobs and Kumako. 

Then the polyester people showed up.  Mercedes stayed stuck in a blob.  Aoi, trying to snap Kumako out of it, attempted to hit her with a fully charged light no-dachi. Fortunately, Outpost Cape, the hunky bishonen of the series, deflected the sword with a flying gerbil.  Then he proceeded to get beaten viciously by Kumako.  He then fled.  He is certainly cute, but he'll have to work harder to win the hearts of our girls.

The fight ended when Isabelle ordered her ship to flatten the school with its cannons.  The creatures of the Otherverse, not wanting to be flattened, fled.  This was good.  They took Kumako with them.  This was generally considered to be bad, except possibly by Mercedes, who had to be extracted painfully from a large yellow blob via light sword.  She then received medical attention from a penguin. 

In order to get Kumako back, the girls decided to build a giant dimensional portal using the energy of the HMS Chemise's engine.  To do this, first they stole twenty miles of high-tension line from northern Kyushu, blaming the whole incident (via note) on Jesse "the Body" Ventura.  Then, they went to Seoul to pick up cable from fallen suspension bridges, another vital ingredient in gate building.  The episode ended with the Chemise heading towards Russia to procure black market weapons...

NOTABLE QUOTES:

Aoi - "I don't care who dials as long as I don't die."

Isabelle - "My name is Isabelle Kate Ruth Stanley."
Kumiko - "Can I call you Isabelle?"
<long awkward pause>
Isabelle - "Okay."

Aoi - "I will carve you a new ass hole in the name of love, justice, and the House of Jurai."

Ben - "I'm going to see how much you hurt yourself."
Hitomi - "But I have camouflage."
Ben - "Oh, that's right.  The broken glass can't see you, so it can't cut you when you hold it."

Ben - "You're dealing with a combat monster in tight Australian pants."

Ben -"We never decided what that Item of Power was, did we."
Abby - "No."
Ota-senpai - "It's a cheese ball!"

Hitomi - "Get out the ether, Sparky [referring to the penguin]."

Isabelle - "Kumiko, I don't think you should spank the fairy."

Isabelle - "Oh, yeah, Kumako got sucked into the, um, Otherverse, didn't she?"
Everyone else - "Yeah!" "That's right!"
<smacking of foreheads>

Isabelle - "I suggest we build a large gate."
Aoi - "I'll bring snacks."

Kumiko - "We should leave a note that says, 'Ha ha. The Otherverse.'"

Tune in for next week, when violence will occur and maybe Outpost Cape will get more manly.  Maybe there'll even be romance!

Tina's Corner

Ok folks, this week we watched Daiundoukai Battle Athletes, Maze, and Saber Marionette J. We got a nice look at what real beauty queens are made of as
well as really horny robots.
For further news on the T-shirts, we're still working on it. It will get
done before the end of the school-year, I promise. But the cost should be
around $10-15, your average cost of a T-shirt. I'm not looking to spend more
than $15 per shirt. We'll break legs to get it discounted for you guys, or
just bribe the Williamsburg Mafia. Whatever comes first.
For all those that want to get to Nekocon, we need to know what time you
are free on Friday. We have three carpools consisting of Kevin, Aaron, and
I. I can seat about six in my car, but we're all going to have to be
friendly. Eight if you count the trunk space. So for all those who are
going, please email Rob about what time and your driver preference as soon as
possible, or you will be left behind. Mike can tell you all about that.


Happy, Happy >(*_*)< Time

Nekocon, great ready, we're on our way.  But, first, logistics.  Because so many people, along with all the club officers, will be absent this week, we will not be having a meeting.  So, if you show up at seven and no one's there, don't cry.  We'll be back next week.  I do NOT recommend going to the meeting this week and simply waiting for us to show up. 

Now, we need to have all the cosplay people meet for scripting and rehearsal.  I suggest late Tues and mid Wednesday evening.  Also, we'd like to see if we can people who are willing to help with the skit by dressing in black and handling the special effects in the background.  Basically, you'd be helping us represent magic with streams and other stuff on sticks as well as Randi the Fairy who will be played by a Barbie doll with wings.  If you're willing to help us out, please tell us.  If not, we will shun you and have the records of your existence be written only in the sand so that it is wiped away by the next wind never to be seen or remembered.  Okay, maybe we won't be that bad, but I'm giving no guarantees.

Librarian's Lair
Well, the countdown to NekoCon continues.  If anyone has apprehensions about telling us exactly when you're ready to go, remember; we will leave you and we will do it out of shear spite.  We'll probably come back for you, but if we do, we'll play the Utena OST's full volume all the way to Virginia Beach.  Be forewarned.

Seriously, it should be a lot of fun.  Barring acts of God I'll be capturing the moments at the con on my handy little disposable camera.  Keep that in mind, anyone who's anxious about checking out the H doujin in the dealers' room.

Finally, as soon as I have collected and developed the handy reference photos for Christina's T-shirt design, we'll be sending it for work.  We're here to serve you.  To a lake dragon.

Joe Mama's Smack Down of the Week
What the HELL is a >(*_*)<?!?!!??!


Links to the Otherverse

http://members.xoom.com/Leina/ - Hitomi's Art Page.  This is the page of the person who we're asking to do the artwork for our t-shirt.

http://www.eskimo.com/~nekocon/ - Neko-Con R Main Page.  If you need to check out Nekocon for any reason, this is the place.

Poll Question:
Last Week: What's that smell?

THIS WEEK: What is Joe Mama?
 
Quasi-Trivia Questions:
ANSWERS:
EASY QUESTION: Better in Silk Panties: Cherry or Lime?  Cherry.  Silk Panties is a drink composed of one part Stolichnaya Vodka and one part Peach Schnapps.  The lime would not jive as well with the peach schnapps as cherry.

Hard Question: Who has more jobs: Sakura from Key the Metal Idol or Tina, secretary of the WMAS?  The most jobs that either one has had at any given time has been three.  Ladies and gentlemen, we have a tie.

Bonus: Who makes more money?  Sakura.  She lives in Tokyo by herself.  Tina lives with her parents.

Extra Bonus: Which of the quotes did we make up last week?  None of them!  None!  We were on one of our typical wild streaks that night!  Yee-hah!

EASY: Which blatant ethnic stereotype is least offensive: Tanya, Ling-Pha, the entire nation of Gartland, or Shampoo?

HARD: What other anime girls are secretly working for Faust of Saber Marionette J?

Contact Info:
Here's how you reach your loving Officers:
President Aaron Seigo or That Guy Benjamin Cooper: aseigo@hotmail.com, section06@hotmail.com, x6230
Vice-President >(*.*)< : rodiet@mail.wm.edu, x5563
Secretary Tina Liu: txliux@maila.wm.edu, 253-6414
Head Librarian Mike "Proteus" Canada: mikecanada@hotmail.com, x6282
Head Enforcer Joe Mama: anisoc@mail.wm.edu, 1-800-DA-SMACK
If you can guess who wrote this message down here the writer will stereotype your ethnicity in a Taro Maki production.