WMAS NEWSLETTER
Volume 3, Issue 20
Quotes:
"We have no quotes this week!  We should do an election or something to distract the club!  If this keeps up, we'll have to change the constitution or some shit like that."
        - Rob

Why Meg Hates Ants
        They killed her parents.  Meg came back from sleepover camp to find the hatchlings crawling out of open cavities in her mom and dad's rotting bodies.

Why Meg Hates Bats
        During a trip to Mexico, vampire bats ate her sister.  Then there were the bats that attacked all her friends during a slumber party.  And the dead bats that keep showing up in her underwear drawer.

Why Meg Wants to Destroy the Ecosystem
        It's not hot enough.  Rob needs to take his shirt off more.  And blue skies are oh so trite.

"What fun is it you being shirtless if I can't touch you?"
        - Meg

Why Mike is Probably Kalkin, Avatar of Vishnu and Sign of the Last Days

• Mike wears a white hakama.  Kalkin is said to be in white while wielding a sword.  Or a comet, or an axe.  The Vedas weren't that specific.
• Seemingly ageless.
• Notice how an avatar of Shiva has not struck him down like all the other avatars of Vishnu.
• Mike's low tolerance for those of the undercastes.
• You can see the Ktri Yuga (the golden First Age) in his pupils.
• The alert way he wakes up in the morning, ready to destroy all those preventing us from returning to a pure age.
• He knows the Totality of Existence.  And Ayanokouji Pai.
• Fat Kitty.
• That smile.

Stuff You Should Know:
        No manga reading because frankly, I'm not supposed to have time.  I may waste that time anyway, but I'm not doing manga this week.  We only have a chapter left anyway.

        Oh, yeah, we have elections.  Show up, darn it.  Nominations are open until the first video.  Prepare thyselves.

        The following people have not paid for T-shirts and will now be publicly ostracized:

•         Sara Alexander
•         Abby Reed
•         Kara, the home and hearth aspect of Shakti

Poll, Etc.
        No poll, etc. this week.  We have important election stuff to do.  Plus, half of you didn't realize Lain's "leet naked skills" involved computer prowess.  Geez, guys.

Past Answers:

Poll:
From Gecko: "I think the obvious answer is to take the papier mache chicken head, batter dip it and then deep fry it; then try to sneak it into a box of chicken wings from Lodge 1 where upon the anime club sues the college for *1 MIL-YON DOLLARS* for mental anguish and all that; so that we can finally afford to buy the Neon Genesis Evangelion Box Set..."

From Josh: "Attach to fishing hook. Climb stairs to top of J-house. Go Frat-fishing. Remember to refrigerate quickly after you gut and scale them, as they tend to go bad soon afterwards."

From Charles: "Can we use it in a "Godfather like" fashion of threatening the Student Activity people to give us cash?"

QTQ Easy:
From Mary: "Hmmm...tough. I'd have to say the girl from Lain, just because her death had the most negative psychological ramifications in the rest of the series. Also, bigger splat-mark."

QTQ Hard:
From Carter, who deserves mention because I can't understand it: "She uses her Ultra-Funky Pakua Skillz for major circle-strafing 0wnage."

From Chris, the only other guy to really get into the spirit: "L41N OWNZ j00!!! 411 Y0UR 8453 8310N6 70 L41N!!!! L41N H45 M4D 5K1LLZ!!!! PH43R L41N5 L33T N3KK1D SK1LLZ!!!!
(notice how the above contains no actual useful information, which is entirely characteristic of most L33T.)"

Contact Info:
President Benjamin J. Cooper - sigma@cs.wm.edu x6230
Vice-President >(*_*)< - rodiet@wm.edu x6232
Secretary Tina Liu - txliux@wm.edu x6232 (No, she doesn't live in the same room, she exists on a parallel plane with it)
Librarian D. Michael Canada - dmcana@wm.edu x6232
That Guy Kara Husson - kdhuss@wm.edu x3148
www.thedumasbrothel.com -- watch out for the midi.